Qwiki Hands-On

There's been a lot of talk about this next Seach Engine, maybe, maybe, too much talk. This Search Engine is not a rebel Search Engine. This Search Engine is Qwiki Bloody Qwiki!

You gotta love its visual answer to the often not appreciated enough query "Hamburger".

Twitter, Build-Your-Own-Cult & The Prophet Engine

It has just come to my  attention that Twitter is a service that enables anyone to become a cult leader or Prophet. By displaying the amount of followers you will entice through your 140-character psalms, it has the ability to turn anyone's popularity into a huge influence to the world. In that regard, Twitter may be viewed as the realization of Bergson's prediction that the essential function of the universe is to become a machine for the making of Gods.

Granted, I did not manage to put all this in less than 140 characters so I'm out of the race to become a Prophet or Cult leader, but still you have to behold this paradigm.

You might also ask why I keep quoting Bergson in my bog. Well, probably because he is the only philosopher I have ever read and by read I mean memorized one sentence to pretend I'm smart and interested in philosophy.

How To Combat Declining Birth Rates With A Seduction Engine

Declining birth rates are jeopardizing the economy of developed countries while poor countries are struggling to limit their exponential growth. Many western governments tried to find a solution to this threatening issue but none came up with a viable solution. As usual, I intend to give the savvy reader of this blog a simple way to remedy that problem.

As a prerequisite to what follows, it is of the utmost importance to emphasize the fact that birth is the result (at least until now) of sexual activity. Therefore, it seems only logical that whatever increases the likelihood of sexual activity between two (or more) consensual adults can only result in an increase in birth rate. Many opponents to this theory will find millions of reasons (like contraception for instance) to object but for simplification and clarity reasons, I will just consider they're wrong and go on with my theory.

So here's my wonderful and super smart (as usual) idea: let's develop a Seduction Engine! What? You don't know what I'm talking about? This term sounds confusing to you? Of course, it is! I invented it and you can't be as smart as I am so I'll just have to explain it.

Everybody will agree that the rise of the Internet is in a large part due to the rise of Search Engines. Google is the new Microsoft because they were and still are the best at developing Search tools. Evidently, any two-word concept using at least "Search" or "Engine" can only be a big success.

So here's my proposition: let's think about BabelWith.Me . This great service allows people to simultaneously chat in different languages just thanks to the fact that it automatically translates each sentence from one language into the language of the other party. Isn’t that awesome? (Steve Jobs could have made that comment). The next step, in my opinion, would be not only to translate various languages from various countries but to translate the language of men into the language of women and vice-versa. This would obviously result in more people getting to appreciate one another and consequently to more sexual activity and therefore more birth.

As an illustration to this theory, here's how it could work:

Man: "Hello Babe, I wanna do you"

Translated into the language of Women: "Hello beautiful girl, your eyes are the most beautiful I have ever seen"

Woman: "How nice of you, you are such a good mannered man"

Translated into the language of Men: "No kidding! Wow, I wanna s*** you until you're lyophilized"

etc...

The reader can only deduct that this Seduction Engine indeed is the best invention ever! The wheel just seems like a gadget compared to it.

Once again, no need to thank me for solving one of humanity's impending disasters. Donations are out of the question.

Disclaimer: this post is in no way sponsored by babelwithme as it is obvious that any brand mentioned in this blog is likely to lose a great deal of credibility.