Augmented & Time-Warped Check-Ins

All Foursquare, Gowalla, Whrrl, Yelp, Plyce etc... players out there, I invite you to start a new trend: create spots of long-gone places in your city. You will help other users travel through time and experience Augmented & Time-Warped check-ins when they see these long-gone spots pop up in the list of places that they can check in. They will look around them and smile, thinking about those long-forgotten places.

Just a simple thing to do to remember the past and how folks used to live before smartphones, all thanks to the use of smartphones themselves!

The Complete Unabridged Partial Guide To Living The Life 2.0

If living the life seems like a dream to you and you think you'll never be able to be successful enough in order to achieve it then focus on something even better: The Life 2.0. Luckily, you happen to be reading this post where  I intend to give out a few tips on how to live the Grand Life 2.0!

First of all, you should realize that living the old-fashioned way, as opposed to the digital Life 2.0, is out-dated. None of your geek friends will find you cool if you continue to avoid new technologies and stubbornly claim that they are useless. Embrace your digital self and try to excel at your new life. Everybody around you will end up copying you (or unfriending you).

Here are the few apps and habits that you should focus on mastering in each aspect of your life:

1) Music: Don't listen to CDs anymore! Use Spotify, Pandora or Deezer. They're music streaming services that, for a limited monthly fee, allow you to listen to almost all music. Don't own your music. It's too old-fashioned, rent and stream it. When you're invited to a private party, replace the DJ's iPhone with yours and play hip hop when everybody wants to listen to techno music. They will love it (or might get yourself kicked out of that party).

2) Letting your friends know where you are: Don't call your friends to let them know where you are or enquire about their location. Check-in using Foursquare, Gowalla, Whrrl, Yelp, Plyce, Brightkite, Twitter AND Facebook. This will allow you to never be bored ever again as you will use most of your time to check-in from places to places on your Smartphone. Try to take pictures while you're at it. None of your friends will find them interesting but it will make you lose a lot more time. Moreover, strangers may like your pictures more than your friends and in turn, you will broaden your horizons by getting to know many perverts whose path you would never have crossed otherwise. Always keep in mind that there is no such thing as a check-in to be ashamed of (think toilets, bedroom, seat 45E on a plane).

3) Letting your friends know what you eat and drink: Use the aforementioned social networks to accurately document everything that will go through your intestines and bladder. You will manage to alienate a lot more friends who will be horrified by your lack of concern for your own health.

4) Use cloud storage services: I'm not talking about parking your private jet in the clouds but rather about keeping a copy of your precious files in the clouds in case anything would happen to your computers or home. Great services like SugarSync or Dropbox let you save all your digital data online and synchronize it across multiple computers.  Your friends' jaws will drop when you show them that you can access all your files from your smartphone, explaining: "This is panmnesia, I can access all my data and knowledge anywhere, anytime. Isn't it cool???". They will literally think: "that guy suffers from OCD, let's avoid him".

5) Movies: The Holy Grail of Entertainment! Get rid of your cable provider. How could you have time to watch anything on TV since you're constantly using Foursquare? If you happen to be dying to watch a specific movie or series, rent them on iTunes and watch them on your iPad in the toilets. It's probably the calmest place on Earth. Make sure you document having watched this movie on Miso and your location at the time on Foursquare.

6) Books: Buy a Kindle to show off, install the Kindle app on your iPad or use iBooks. Anyway, this is just to show off. Who has time to read nowadays? I don't... I never did either... Ok, so this might be due to the fact that I'm lazy. It might indeed have nothing to do with the digital revolution. I dread the birth of a social network like Miso dedicated to books. Everyone will know I'm not as smart as I try to make everyone think I am.

7) If you're into onanism, try Chatroulette!

And if you know BASIC:

8 GO TO 1


#Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I Was Abducted By Aliens In My Sleep

I had the greatest idea of all ideas last night as I decided to watch The Fourth Kind, a horror movie about alien abductions. What better way to find sleep on a Sunday evening than to be thinking about alien abductions? Evidently, I had one of the best nights of sleep ever and I would advise anyone to watch this movie alone in the dark at night. Although it is supposed to depict real events that occurred in Nome, AK in 2000, I find it far-fetched and hard to believe. Main character, psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler, was supposedly abducted by aliens in her sleep. Doesn't this sentence say it all? In my dictionary, being abducted in one's sleep equals to dreaming of being abducted. In addition, the main proof of alien abductions is given through Recovered Memory Therapy, a practice known to be non-scientific and unreliable. The most dramatic and scary scene is that rumored abductees speak Sumerian under hypnosis and trance. Well, Dr. Tyler has books about Sumerian on her desk. So it does not surprise me at all that her unconscious mind is familiar with some of its vocabulary.


In summary, although I dreamt last night that I was being abducted by aliens, I doubt aliens would go through the trouble of abducting earthlings just to drill through their skins and poke them. Unless, they invented a sport whose purpose is to drill as many holes as one can in an earthling, it would just seem like an awful waste of time and resources on their part. And seriously, if aliens have already visited Earth, how come they never left any comment on my blog? I check my stats regularly and Google does not mention any connection from outer space. Wouldn't intelligent lifeforms from outer space at least try to friend me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter? The fact that they haven't done so yet makes it clear to me that they're either using AT&T or haven't visited earth yet.

Note: Once again, Hollywood shows that shrinks should not be taken seriously as most of them are mentally ill in the first place. It's such a classic that everytime I see a shrink in a movie, I can safely bet he or she is the bad guy!
Note 2: All the original documentary footage featured in this film was shot by the filmmakers. The whole movie is, of course, a clever hoax.

Sunday Burger Sunday

In my ongoing Sunday challenge to achieve Burger Nirvana, I am 100% sure (though still in doubt) that I took the best Hamburger pictures ever today! I, of course, decided to post them on my blog right away in order to share them with the world. Indeed, what better way to start off a new week than by having burger dreams the night before? So, here are the pictures for you to behold and have wet dreams (I'm referring to drooling)!

Unfortunately, my attempt at Burger Xanadu only completed one of my goals: form. Sadly, content was not on par with the way the burgers looked today. A classic tale of form vs. content! However, If I manage, next week, to combine last week's burger taste with this week's appearance, I believe that I will have reached Burger Heaven and through this compassionate act, bliss will be spread amongst all human beings as Rupert Sheldrake accurately predicted in his Morphic Resonance Theory. For those of you not yet familiar with this very popular, yet totally unknown and controversial, theory, it suggests, as Douglas Rushkoff presented it in his hard-to-be-taken-seriously book Cyberia, that acquired competence in one individual of a species can be passed on to all other individuals of the same species through a Morphogenetic Field Of Consciousness! For better understanding of this theory, do not confuse the words consciousness and couscousness (the latter referring to a mental state reached after having eaten way too much North African food).

The Hashtag Of All Hashtags #Daaaaaaaaaaaaa

Hashtags are unbelievably practical. I never use them to search for information on any social network but I do think that they are the virtual proof of the existence of a Higher Power in the universe. When Bergson wrote about the ultimate function of the universe as a machine for the making of gods, he probably envisioned the future and the birth of hashtags. So, now that our universe is fulfilled thanks to the proliferation of hashtags, we could ask ourselves the "what's next" anxiety-filled question?

Luckily, you're reading my blog and I have the answer! The true essence and purpose of all matter in the universe is to transcend hashtags and bring them to a new plane of virtual usefulness. As I am a pioneer in the field of Universe Understanding, I have been using this new kind of hashtag for a while. I named it the #Daaaaaaaaa hashtag. It has no meaning nor purpose and can therefore be added to anything and everything #Daaaaaaaaa (that was just an example #Daaaaaaaaa). The beauty in this hashtag is that you can artistically change the number of As in it in order to differentiate its non-meaning from another #Daaaaaaaaaaaaaa hashtag!

Please feel free and obliged to use it from now on and until the end of time in everything you write #Daaaaaaaaaaaaa. You also have my blessing to manually add it to every sentence in all books or magazines you might stumble across #Daaaaaaaaaaaaa

Testimonial:
Steve J., Cupertino, CA: "The #Daaaaaaaa hashtag is the new period #Daaaaaaaaaa I can’t think of a better way to end a sentence than with a #Daaaaaaaa It drives me nuts to realize that I’m not the one that thought of this first #Daaaaaaaaaa  I have hired thousands of engineers to work on an i#Daaaaaaaaa device #Daaaaaaaaaaa"

How To Effectively Convince Yourself And Your Readers That You Are Smart

Writing is not easy. Many people write but only a few get to be be known or appreciated by their peers for it. In this short post, I will give the lucky reader some advice on how to become a world famous writer.

Firt of all, you should keep in mind to use lots of different, unusual and long words (like phylogenetic or ontogenetic). By doing so, you will effectively convince your readers and yourself that you are amongst the smartest people on earth. Don't hesitate to use technical terms, preferably from a very specific, obscure and uninteresting field. Though the advent of search engines make it easier for people to look up the definition of words, if you put enough tedious terms in your writing, most people will give up trying to understand them and your thoughts as a whole. They will just assume that you are very smart. Keep in mind that they might not continue to read your literature but they will certainly tell all their friends that they did and loved it. Their friends will, in turn, read or at least try to read your prolific literary production and confirm the fact that they loved it. Through this chain reaction, you will evidently become world famous and so rich that you won't have enough time in your life to eat all the cheeseburgers that your freshly made fortune will afford you to buy.

One fun thing to do is to use the same sentences and just mix up the words. It will produce the same effects and your audience will not notice your clever trick. They will just assume, once again, that your super smart brain is so super smart (makes sense, right?) that you are able to write beautiful and intelligent prose on a constant basis. It is, as a matter of fact, rumored in Area 51 that many world famous psychoanalysts traveled forward in time just to read this blog entry before heading back to their own time. How else could their success and writings be explained?

I should probably stop giving you tips right here as I wouldn't want you to become more famous than me!

Don't hesitate to thank me when you finally make it big time. Please, keep in mind that all my tips are provided free of charge and that I will not tolerate people attempting to donate money to this blog.

Our Alternate Plane Of Existence

As members of a biological species, we are all made of organs, cells, molecules and atoms. The specificity of biological species is that they reproduce and are in constant re-arrangement of the matter that they are made of. Every second, millions of cells in our body die and are replaced by brand new ones that are made of reprocessed biological material. This never-ending (at the phylogenetic level) recycling machinery has been at work for at least 3.5 billion years on our planet.

Being in this constant re-arrangement state and spreading our molecules around us seem to have given birth to our ontogenetic desire to leave traces of our existence after our death. One could consider that artistic expression, literature, accomplishments in sports etc... are no more than a mere unconscious attempt at fulfilling our phylogenetic programming at the ontogenetic level.

Recent advances in technologies have had a profound impact on this aforementioned process. We are now all leaving traces of our existence everywhere. This is not restricted to the Elite anymore. And the most fascinating aspect of this phenomenon is that the traces we leave are not only non-biological (we don't spread dead cells around us) or static (when it comes to writing on paper in the attempt to reach literature fame), they are capable of self-reproduction. As a matter of fact, all the tweets we send are instantaneously sent to thousands of computers, stored locally or just passed on to another computer. They continue to exist on hard drives after they have disappeared from the user searchable information. Consequently, all the information that originates from us is transcended to a silicon plane of existence where it will continue a life of its own. We have to be aware that our pictures, videos, texts end up in the primordial silicon soup that is the Internet. I see in this realization a very close parallel to the primordial soup that was once the cradle of life on Earth. Could it be at the origin of a new type of life or for that matter intelligent life? Could it be at origin of a digital double of each and everyone of us?

I can't wait for my digital double to taste a digital hamburger!

David Blaine & 17 mins

Pushing human limits even further, David Blaine managed to hold his breath for 17 minutes! 17 minutes! Another must-see TEDTalk! Enjoy it!

The Legion Of eXtraordinary Dancers (LXD)

This is one my favorite TEDTalks! The way these people dance is just out-of-this-worldish. They give us the eerie impression that they are able to manipulate matter, energy and time through their flawless skills. This probably is the exact opposite of Theoretical Physics but it gives us a deep understanding of how first-hand experience can be misleading. Nobody would indeed think that what is presented here is actually possible to achieve and yet, the proof is right there in front of our eyes! Enjoy it!

Je Suis Une Saucisse De Strasbourg (JFK 101)

As I recently visited the beautiful, though medieval with a touch of 1960s ugly architecture, city of Strasbourg, I couldn't help myself thinking of what President JFK might have said, had he visited Alsace instead of Berlin in 1963.

His famous words "Ich Bin Ein Berliner" which literally translate in German as "I am a jelly-filled doughnut" could have been in French: "Je suis une saucisse de Strasbourg" (I am a Strasbourger sausage). I believe my ever-growing French audience might find that amusing.

Evidently, I cannot end this post without making a reference to numbers as my thoughts for JFK are, I believe, no coincidence. I was born on the exact same day that JFK was shot in Dallas (Granted I'm talking about the exact same day in a different year) which probably makes me the only person in the entire universe to share this in common with him. Last but not least, the last 6 digits of my phone number in Neverland correspond to the date of his death. Are you superstitious?

Capitalism, Human Nature, Technocracy, New World Order & Martinis

Today I received in the mail a special invitation from "The Economist" newspaper. It said that I could receive 4 issues for free and then decide if I wanted to subscribe or not. Since I have no knowledge whatsoever in this field, nor am I the least bit interested in it (as I'd rather spend my free time dreaming up new hamburgers), I thought it was a divine sign and that by touching the envelope this invitation came in, I would absorb all knowledge related to economy through osmosis. That being said, I am now in a position to analyse with the utmost subtlety our world and its economy.

First of all, let me state that I am a true believer in the virtues of Capitalism as it is probably the most suited economical system ever invented to this date. Its strength lies in the fact that it is compatible with human nature. Contrary to what great minds and philosophers (who, by the way, never had the guts to venture in the hamburger literature) would like to think, human beings aren't benevolent by nature. They tend to be greedy, selfish and most of all short-sighted. I read Karl Marx (and loved his cousins' movies) and I do think that his theories sound great but they are, in no way, compatible with human nature. Just look at what happened in most communist countries up to now. They have all failed and ended up being eaten up by corruption and laziness (one striking example of this is China... Or not). So, Capitalism in the sense that one will earn according to his efforts works well with us humans. It gives us something to look forward to, a justification for our efforts (just like me writing this blog that no one will ever read).

Unfortunately, it seems to me, that we're about to reach the limits of our capitalistic system. When workers are laid off not because their company is going through hard times but just because their CEO thinks that the shareholders will be happier if the company becomes even more profitable than it already is, the system favors laziness and does not reward hard work. How can you expect to make money by not doing anything? How cool a job is it to be a shareholder? How can we justify letting go of hard working people when lazy people will make money out of it? To me, this is exactly why our system is bound to fail.

So what could we do about it?

Well one idea would be to have every single person on this earth drink Vodka Martinis. This will probably alleviate the burden of knowing that our world is coming to an end.
Another answer would be to try and think of a different or better world order. Why not choose our leaders based on their skills (through a national exam for instance) and not their looks or the promises that they will make and not keep? For this to be possible, we would need to build a system where education is free and everyone gets a chance at excelling through hard work. Wouldn't it make more sense to put the most skilled people at the head of our states? Funny enough, this idea does not sound crazy to me. How about you?

Technocracy does make sense (and I’m not talking about a nation whose national anthem would be a Depeche Mode song).

Click on "comment" below and win a chance to become the next Secretary General of the United Nations.

How To Deconstruct Your Online Brand And Lower Your Income

Having never read anything about marketing but being the successful author of my blog for almost two weeks, I have decided to declare myself proficient in all matters directly or remotely linked to building an online brand through the extensive use of social networks. Since some of the posts featured in this blog have been read by more than two people (that is at least one other person than myself), I can safely assume that I am on the way (if not yet there) to become a worldwide success(h) (think Tony Montana in Scarface).

Anyway, let me tell you about my experience and what you should do in order to Deconstruct Your Brand and Lower Your Income online:

1) Choose an easy recognizable brand or name for your blog (no more than 2 words with the absolute rule of not using commas or the same word four times in your title). Just look at my blog title and you'll have a perfect example of what was just mentioned.

2) Use your Facebook friends and Twitter followers (if you have any) to increase your blog audience and alienate your friends and followers. This will result in a dramatic loss of Twitter followers and clearly lower your amount of dinner invitations.

3) Maintain a structure: be consistent in what you do. If your aim is to write about various topics that have nothing in common then go ahead and do so! This will get your readers to be bored after one post (in case they stumbled across your blog by accident on a search engine) and they will never come back to your blog.

4) Spend a lot of time writing your blog. This will prevent you from doing anything constructive in your life, like looking after your children, pleasing your spouse or increasing your productivity at your real job. By doing so, you will ensure that no one will ever consider you for a promotion and that your social life will be miserable, hence leaving you with only one option and that is to post even more on your blog.

5) Keep in mind that although some people have made a lot of money online, your chances to make it big time are close to zero and you'd probably be better off playing the lottery.

6) Write in a foreign language to make sure most of your friends won't be interested in reading your blog. In addition, your lack of skills will show in your poor grammar and vocabulary making your style unbearable and your content insipid, therefore annoying any potential reader.

If you have followed all these rules, I am sure you are the third reader of this blog and you should feel free to leave a comment. If you are a man, there is an extra benefit that I forgot to mention: it is that all the stress caused by posting on your blog will lead to an excess release of Cortisol in your bloodstream. This will result, through a complex feedback loop, in a decreased release of Testosterone and should as a consequence shrink your penis of at least one inch (I have experienced this myself).

The American Express Centurion "Black" Card Is For Losers

The much hyped Amex Black Card is for losers! I proudly hold the most precious card ever. It is not black, nor is it made of titanium but it allows me to be treated like royalty at the places I go the most. Whenever I flash this card, people look at me in awe and ask me how to get one. The truth is it is by invitation only. And I consider myself to be one the luckiest guys in the world!

Here is that special VIP card in all its glory:

The 10% discount Burger King Card!

Are you jealous?

I Like To Shave My Balls And Wiener

My passion for food isn't limited to hamburgers! I also love Italian food. For most people, Italian food and pizzas might be synonym. But there is a lot more to Italian food than pizzas! As a matter of fact, I recently sampled some delicious meatballs and sausages (pictured above) at Tony's Di Napoli in New York - Times Square. The way I like to eat them is to shave off all the tomato sauce of the sausages (wieners) and meatballs, then add an onion with my fork and a tiny little bit of the aforementioned sauce before eating them! Believe me, the best way to enjoy them is to shave the tomato sauce off!

Burger King Might Be Coming Back To France

Rumor has it that Burger King might be coming back to France! Their last restaurant in France had closed down in 1997. This Second Coming of the King in France might fulfill my wildest dreams!

If this were to come true, I wouldn't have to use the wormhole that I discovered many years ago. This anomaly in the fabric of the space-time continuum allows me to be at a Burger King in the USA after a 40 mn car drive from France (granted, it's weird that they don't speak English there and that everything is written down in German).

Let's all hail the King when he comes back to France!

Update: this rumor was unfortunately fake.

Food For Thought

Inspiration refill:

Who Can Name The Bigger Number?

Beavers will never look the same to me!

Warning To Readers Of This Blog

A recent double-blind placebo-controlled study conducted in our reader population showed that reading this blog was associated with a decrease in IQ of 24.42 points in average. As a consequence, this blog is considered to be the most dangerous material ever to be written. Readers must take this fact into consideration before continuing reading it. For readers previously exposed to this blog, it might be too late for them to be able to sanely consider whether or not they should consider prolonging their exposure.

Methodology: both readers and observers were wearing a blindfold in order to ensure the double-blind aspect of this study. Readers wearing their blindfold were then presented with this blog and forced into reading at least one whole article. Observers were also wearing a blindfold and made sure readers completed the task presented to them. The placebo blog used was any other kind of so-called literature.

Conclusion: It is rumored that the conclusion to this study may not be entirely trustworthy as most observers were inadvertently also exposed to this blog.

Summary: Exposure to this blog is extremely dangerous. The author is a living proof of this theory.

Testimonials from our readers:

Robert Xhatan, M.D. from Des Moines, IA: I was a neurosurgeon. After reading this blog, I couldn't find my way back to the hospital where I worked. I am now homeless.

John Doe from Washington, DC: I was a rocket scientist before reading this blog. I am now lost in I dunnoware.

Bob Morane, Indochina: I was seeking the yellow shadow when I stumbled across this blog. I ended up being lost in the infernal valley.

Bill Balantine, Indochina: I second what Bob M. just said.

Civa, Indochina: Where the frack is my necklace?

Maharadjah, Indochina: I have nothing to say.

The Structural Antagonism Between Oral Pleasure And Health

As disappointing as this may sound to the reader, this post is not about oral sex but rather surprisingly about food (another form of oral pleasure). Has it ever occurred to you that most pleasurable food or dishes are usually not good for your health? Whether it is cholesterol-filled tasty sauce or rich nutrients, experiencing fine food at its climax is usually associated with the intrinsic notion of putting our health in a transient state of jeopardy. Refusing to acknowledge this fact can result in an increased risk of cardiovascular or metabolic diseases and hence premature death.

This leads to a rather profound question. Is our world or universe structured in a way that pleasure has to be linked with guilt or danger? Or do we, as human beings, find pleasure in risky behaviors? Should we see in this realization the essence of God or merely the perverted nature of our condition struggling to disavow the castration perpetuated by religion or education? Do we have to sin to experience transient happiness followed by prolonged guilt? Or was our universe so ill-conceived that most good things are bad for us?

The Case For Food Perversion

I am surprised to see that the concept of Food Perversion is not widely accepted for it is a growing concern for health authorities worldwide. Originating in the structural disavowal of health and nutrition concepts, people suffering from this condition (referred to food perverts in this post) are unable to experience satisfactory gustative pleasure in the absence of their fetish. The most common fetish associated with food perversion is hamburger or melted cheddar cheese. Food perverts will typically only eat meals consisting of hamburgers or anything associated with a melted cheddar cheese sauce. They need to be treated because their condition is associated with an increased risk of cardiovascular and metabolic complications. So let's all raise our voices for food perversion awareness!

My LeWeb'10 Official Blogger Accreditation Application

I've just applied for an official blogger accreditation at the upcoming LeWeb'10 conference! I am in no way hopeful that my application will be accepted but I thought it would be fun to apply (thank you Benoit for the heads-up!). As you might have realized, I'm really into doing things that don't make any sense so applying for an official blogger accreditation really makes sense to me in a nonsensical way.

One thing for sure, I wasn't lying when I stated in my application:

"I will certainly bring a lot of non-sense and humor in my coverage".

I also mentioned that I've been a serious blogger for almost a week!

My Testament Of Faith

I am a true believer in the power of hamburgers. The History Of Hamburgers is my sacred book. Burger King is my temple. Ronald Mc Donald is my guide. Join me in my faith!

Do Potatoes Make Sense?

I recently learned about a new dish called "Potatoes". The way I understand it is that in order to make so-called "Potatoes", one has to stick a lot of French fries together and then wrap them in a brown film so that it makes an ovoid shape. I am outraged by this practice. How could anyone be so senseless and cruel as to use such a beautiful and natural product as fries or cheese fries, strip them of their cheese and stick them together in this manner? In addition, I can't even fathom how disgusting this must taste. It certainly can't be as good as fries which are know to be the second best thing ever just right next to hamburgers. So, if you see potatoes (they should look like the picture below), just run for your life!

The Beauty Of Food Porn

I love to take pictures of food in the wild, i.e. without too much preparation or emphasis on perfection. That is the way it should be done for Beauty lies in the moment. To me, pictures of food surrounded by crumbs on a dirty plate are no more than an attempt at capturing the true essence of what we are as intelligent beings. This food, whether it be hamburgers or cheeseburgers (both being the essential bricks of matter in our universe), ends up in our cells and eventually becomes us. My pictures might be shocking and even qualify as "Food Porn" but they are real. So, if you continue to read this blog, consider this post as a warning and expect a lot more of those in the future.

101010 - 42 - The Ultimate Answer To All Questions

It is no coincidence that today's date (10/10/10) happens to be a Sunday. It probably holds the answer to all questions. As 101010 converted in binary is 42 and 42 being the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything, if you add to this equation the fact that Sunday is Burger Day for me, I can only conclude, as French humanist Rabelais failed to do so in his Quint Livre that ended with the word "Trinch" in an invitation to find the answer to all questions in wine, that the real answer to all questions and particularly the meaning of life lies within hamburgers!

Can there be anything more beautiful in this world than hamburgers? I don't think so! So, let me introduce you to my latest attempt at Burger Heaven: The Big Awesome Burger (B.A.B.) with the works: designed today and hence holding the answer to all questions.

Note: The answer to all questions is currently in my stomach.

Tourism, Generalization & Anthropology

Our brain is wired to generalize. After experiencing a dangerous situation or a painful stimulus, we tend to avoid similar circumstances thereafter in order to protect ourselves. This phylogenetic cognitive asset, when applied in other areas of our cognitive and behavioral functioning, can however lead to misrepresentation and false beliefs.

As a matter of fact, tourists tend to generalize so much that I do not to believe a word of what they say. Some people will travel abroad for a week and come back home with the absolute confidence that they have profoundly understood a different culture and can tell all their friends about it:

"In xxxx, people are stupid", "In xxxx, people are dirty" or "In xxxx, people are cheap".

How can anyone pretend to have studied a different culture enough in order to make such judgments? In what world do tourists become expert anthropologists during the short span of their vacation? Can you say, after having had a real conversation with, let's be optimistic, 5 different persons that all people in the country are alike? To me, it is no smarter than if I were to go to a local store in my country, talk to someone with whom I might not agree, categorize that person as "stupid", and then go home and say "All people in my country are stupid"? Would that make sense to you? It certainly does not to me.

So please, next time you travel abroad and come back home, try to be a little more modest in the assessment you will make of a different culture. Keep in mind (unless you have a Ph.D. in Anthropology) that you are no expert Anthropologist!

My Favorite Podcasts

In this culture shifting day and age, we are not limited by geographical constraints when it comes to watching or listening to our favorite shows! So, here are mine:

- Diggnation: Kevin Rose & Alex Albrecht are potentially hazardous to your health!

- The Endgadget Show: Fantastic gadget coverage by Joshua Topolsky!

- GeekBeat.TV (formerly known as GeekBrief.TV): 5 minute daily gadget news from Cali Lewis!

- TEDTalks: Less than 20 minute expert presentations on various topics ! Amazing concept ! I can't get enough of Ted Talks!

- 2600: Hacker and counterculture podcast! Very informative!

- Naive London Girl: Great audio podcast about sex & relationships ! Anjelika & Wanda are fun to listen to! So is Suzanne Portnoy on her guest star appearances.

- SexGeeks: Discontinued podcast but old episodes are still available for download!

Ode To Absurdism & Numbers

Absurdism refers to the conflict between the human tendency to seek inherent meaning in life and the human inability to find any. I find that true humor lies in the Absurd, at least it is the kind of humor that touches me and lifts me to laughter paradise. I find nothing more exhilarating than The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Who could have constructed a more articulate and elaborate answer than 42 ? What better way to answer the most important philosophical question than to transport it to a whole different plane of understanding and transcend its answer by expressing it in mathematical language? In a similar way, evil forces and the Anti-Christ are also symbolized in western religions by a number (666) for the lack of possible depiction of such a terrifying entity in traditional language.

Psychotic patients often have a singular relationship with language and some feel more comfortable solving mathematical equations than answering simple questions in plain English.

In conclusion, I believe that the true essence of mankind will only find its Xanadu when, in a gravity defying moment, rappers from all over the world unite and shout together : "Yo, 9.81" instead of "Yo, G."

Space 1999, Earth 2010 & The Phallic Prosthesis Paradigm

I have always been fascinated by science fiction and even more so by the fact that many technologies or endeavors depicted in this genre end up in the real world (Think Jules Vernes: 20.000 Leagues Under The Sea or From The Earth To The Moon). The Commlock from Space 1999 is no exception to this rule! I was so much looking forward to it becoming a reality when I was a child and I have just realized that my iPhone does a lot more than the Commlock was about! Granted I am no Alphan and we are not close to establishing a colony on the moon! We have, however, developed modern tools that are way ahead of what science fiction envisioned just 30 years ago!

Humans are tool-utilizing animals and our passion for tools (and in a way their phallic prosthesis function) has led us to creating swords, guns and their popular contemporary counterpart: the ubiquitous smartphone.

More Commlock pictures

Even more Commlock pictures

The Quest For The Perfect Hamburger

My wife and I have recently embarked on a bold journey: the quest for the perfect hamburger.
I feel like a modern times knight wearing a melted-cheese armor, armed with a frying pan riding along a carriage full of hamburger patties. The amount of possible hamburger combinations is just astonishing to me, maybe even more so than the amount of galaxies in the universe or neural connections in the brain. Just try to envision the different types of cheese, temperatures, hamburger patty recipes, types of bun, special sauces, lettuce, tomatoes, onion etc...
The number of combinations is just infinite!
In a way, the quest for the perfect hamburger is akin to the quest for the perfect Dry Martini. I will therefore try and document my advances and discoveries on my blog!

Today's pictures are just the outcome of our attempt at replicating a Juicy Lucy (a Minneapolis specialty)! The beauty of this variation is to actually stuff cheese between 2 hamburger patties, merge them into one prior to frying it.
It was delicious !
Here is our source of inspiration: The Amazing TV Show: Man Vs. Food with Adam Richman.

Will The Discovery Of Planet Zarmina (Gliese 581g) Change Our Faith?

The discovery of Planet Zarmina (Gliese 581g) is a ground breaking moment in human history. For the first time ever, we have reasonable proof that another Planet than earth in a not-so-distant Solar System could support human life. This only can lead to the conclusion that there probably is an astonishing amount of planets similar to earth in the Universe. Therefore, it must be very likely that life exists beyond our blue horizons.

Although I am thrilled by this discovery, I can hardly fathom the perhaps not-so-distant day when we discover life or, even better, intelligent life outside of our solar system. The world will be profoundly shaken and hopefully come to the realization that all our earthly conflicts have zero significance at the scale of the Universe. How will earthlings integrate this discovery with the religions they have believed in for centuries? How can we fight on earth over whose God is right when life is not limited to our planet?

Will we discover that Prophets visited other planets as well ? Or for the lack of such a fact, will we join our faiths and those of aliens in a common belief or understanding of an almighty essence in the Universe?

Can The Panspermia Theory (or as I like to call it: The Cosmic Bukkake Theory) explain a single origin of life in the entire Universe? I highly doubt it. So, if life emerged on different planets, at different times, under different (or why not the same) forms, shouldn't this come into conflict with our earthly faiths?

It certainly does not answer the question of God but it might bring us closer to it.