What Matters In The End?

I haven't updated my blog in a long time as I have been facebooking and twittering hectically!

Anyway, I'm in the mood for blogging today so let's hope my words will make sense! Today's post isn't going to be about food, technology or travel but rather about the human condition.

I, indeed, can't help but notice how little we think about our human condition on a day-to-day basis. We actually avoid to do so as the anxiety generated by any metaphysical questioning can be overwhelming or at least unwelcome. We all live our lives hiding from reality. We go from one insignificant thing to another, oblivious to the fact that we know nothing about our origins, what we are in the universe or what might become of us after what we call "death".

Of course, religion is an answer which only certainty comes from faith rather than actual proof. Faith is a powerful anxiolytic and in a way those that truly experience it must avoid some terrifying anxieties.

I, for myself, have a hard time believing in God or at least any religion created by humans. If not for something that most might consider insignificant, I wouldn't even consider believing in God... What is making me contemplate such an act of faith happened more than a year ago when my 10 year old dog was diagnosed with a myeloma and was in a lot of pain. At that point and I remember it with great accuracy, I turned to my wife and asked her "'If there is a God, why would he/she make such a harmless little dog suffer like this?" I don't think I had ever asked that question with such defiance and hatred for nothing seemed to make sense to me in this world. My parents having passed away, one might be shocked that I would only ask this question when confronted with the suffering of a dog. I think that there was something unbearable for me in seeing my dog suffer like that as I saw it as pure and pointless suffering.

When it comes to human beings, we all tend to try and make sense of death eventhough, I'm pretty convinced of it, it absolutely doesn't make any. The death of my mother when I was 21 and more recently of my dad, have at least made me realize that our presence on earth is transient and very insignificant. Whatever we hold dear doesn't last and the elusive feeling of happiness or our quest for it is just a mirage.

We all have certitudes. We all think our life is going in one direction eventhough it's going the opposite way. We all tend to think we'll do the important things tomorrow. But in the end, we miss many things and often the most important ones.

When we get to that defining and final moment, at the very time that our eyes are going to close for the final time, what is left? What mattered? What a terrifying and unbearable question, right?

My answer is that everything might seem pointless... This little masquerade that we call life, these moments of happiness that don't last... Our pride in the fact that some of our genes will be living on in the form of our children? Aren't we contributing to more insignificant lives? Or is there really a point? Will humanity ever reach a Nirvana or a state of higher wisdom with complete understanding of our very own existence and the fabric of the Universe?

In the end, we're only left with questions and that terrifying and defining moment when our eyes close for the last time......

To end this rather dark post, I must write about my dog, that one year later and thanks to chemotherapy is still alive and actually well. Should I consider this a miracle? Should I believe in God? Who knows? I just might...