Back To The Mind Event: Hackers, Shamans And Physicians

I thought about stealing the fame from Apple and hold a competitive Back To The Mind event today at the same time than the Back To The Mac Apple Event. As a courtesy to my friend Steve Jobs whom I've never met, I've finally decided to postpone my event until November, 31st. On that date, CNN will broadcast live from my bedroom (I'm too lazy to go anywhere else) my first and last keynote ever titled "Back To The Mind".

Don't be scared, I'm not in the business of selling Minds or iMinds. In fact, you should know by now that I don't intend on selling anything at all. I just want people who read my blog to use that opportunity to enhance their knowledge of life, the Universe and everything else (and learn to count until 42 at least).

In this keynote, I will talk about the origins of hacking and show that the first hackers were shamans. Through the power of suggestion and the sometimes psychotic ability to connect to the Spirit World, shamans effectively used social engineering to heal benign affections. Modern medicine unknowingly shared the same practices as "proto-doctors" would use inactive principles, mistakenly thinking they were active just because they would have a positive effect on some patients. This was actually nothing more than the demonstration that the placebo effect existed. It is, unfortunately, still used in the practice of homeopathy when practitioners confuse the psychotherapeutic effect produced by the fact that they listen to their patients with the belief that the inactive drugs they prescribe would have any positive effect at all.

Later in the evolution of science, arose the true hacking spirit in doctors as they tried to understand the nature of diseases and to figure out ways to find a backdoor in order to actively destroy or annihilate what caused the disease (think infectious diseases).

The so-called new hacker culture is nothing new at all. It just applied the principles that scientists and physicians had been using for centuries to hacking computers and networks!

Note: Due to the fact that there is no November, 31st in the calendar and that everything I wanted to say in my keynote has already been presented here, I have decided, as a courtesy to CNN, my bedroom and the world, to cancel my keynote.

What Was Announced in 12 hours At The Back To The Mac Apple Event

The Internet is going crazy right now as every single tech site is trying to figure out what will be announced tonight at the Back To The Mac Apple Event. I could have, like everyone else, decided to blog live from the event in order to let the world know what is being announced but then, I figured that my site has no chance of going down due to excess overload which kinda removes the fun out of doing so. In addition, I never understood why people would go to an alternate site to hear about live events when they can watch a live broadcast of it.

Anyway, I had the greatest idea about this event! I contacted one of the Aliens that allegedly abducted me in my sleep two nights ago and thanks to the advanced knowledge of his civilization and a bit of fumbling with quantum mechanics, we went forward in time (and while at it in space as well) in order to attend the live event.

This is how, now that I'm back in my timeline, I can tell the world about was announced (past tense for me) in 12 hours:

- Fantastic and unbelievable quarter with record earnings, sales and revenues.
- Apple is the coolest brand in the world and Steve Jobs one of the coolest guys on the planet (wouldn't he wear something else than his usual pair of jeans, sneakers and black long sleeve t-shirt if he needed to assert his coolness on anything else than his achievements as the CEO of Apple Inc. ?).
- The iPhone is the greatest thing ever.
- The iPad is the coolest computer and tablet altogether.
- Apple has never sold so many Macs. Ever.
- Tonight was announced a new MacBook Air. It will come in 2 sizes: 11.6 inches & 13.3 inches. Both versions are cool. Don't bother about tech specs, just buy one of them or even better: both!
- Mac OS X 10.7 "Lion": Apple has been working on this Mac OS X implementation for 20 years (Yes 20 years!!! Can you believe it?) and they are now ready to announce it. The coolest feature: it will support touch based devices! Screen protection manufacturers worldwide rejoice: you guys are gonna sell even more film protections and now in bigger sizes just for Macs.
- New Macs may or may not have been announced (at the time Steve was talking about this, I realized my iPhone 4 had no signal... I realized this was due to my alternate self probably using his at the same time. This anomaly in the space-time continuum probably crashed my carrier (Orange France)... Sorry about that but wasn't it worth it? At least, it was to me)
- Hybrid GSM-CDMA iPhone: it was not announced in 12 hours but should be in January (at least in the timeline I was).

That's it! Don't thank me! Don't watch the live event tonight, you already know everything. You should use the saved time to work overtime in order to be able to afford the new Macbook Air, iMacs & Mac OS X Lion. You can buy it all here: Apple Store.

Disclaimer: due to the unusual way I was able to obtain the information mentioned in this post, some of it might be actually pertaining to a different timeline than yours and mine and hence might not reflect exactly what our timeline might learn tonight.

Note: For those of you who are wondering how I contacted the Alien that abducted me, the answer is a very simple one: I called them on their iPhone. Actually, the main reason why Aliens visited Earth in the first place was to obtain iPhones. They now have a saying on their planet: "We may be more advanced than humans, but we have no Steve Jobs amongst us".
Note 2: This is my 69th post! I'll let each and everyone of you decide in which way (hmmm) you want to celebrate it.
Note 3: I love notes!