Oops! The Burger Gods Did It Again At 231 East St. In Strasbourg (France)

Distinguishing reality from our imagination may be a concern for some philosophers. In fact, I am yet to be proven wrong in my assumption that the entire universe and all beings and things in it are just a product of my imagination. In that same line of thinking, my recent (read: two decade old) but unconditional passion for burgers seems to have led to a spike in Burger Joint creations in my hometown.

As I was almost ready to embrace the fact that the world may not be a holographic projection after all, two great Burger Joints opened up in Strasbourg. Someone please explain me how could that be a coincidence?

The first Burger Joint to open was "Le Pied de Mammouth" and I must say my city really lacked such a place. Its opening seems to have been closely followed by the opening of a second, yet different Burger Joint named: "231 East Street" and located 3 Place Saint Etienne (Tel: +33388169613). The former establishment features huge and original burgers whereas the latter sports classic burgers in a perfect bun with juicy melted cheese. I can't say which one is the best but both places definitely deserve a visit!

The number obsessed in you (and is there any Burger lover who isn't it?) will ask how these burgers rate on the Shake Schackedness scale. So, let me answer this utmost important question: I would grant "Le Pied de Mammouth" a solid 6.65 out of 7 and "231 East St." a 6.66. And for those of you more familiar with the In-N-Out Burger Awesomeness scale, this would translate into 42 for the former and 42.42 for the latter.

As a special bonus to my faithful readers, here is the menu at 231 East St. (courtesy of @DrGGT):

Granted, it is short and reduced to its bare essentials but you have to admit: who wants to hesitate for hours between 20 different Burgers when they crave for melted cheddar, perfectly cooked patties, lettuce, tomato and mayo in a bun? In this day and increasingly complicated age, do we really need more options than these classic three: Hamburger, Cheeseburger and Bacon Cheeseburger? Although this menu features a salad which might scare some of you away (and frankly shocked me when I saw it), I think they did a great job at simplifying things.


Enjoy it!

If I Had A Hammer And A Stargate

I could have chosen "Monday Burger Monday"as the title of this post but decided otherwise as I'm attempting to possibly write the worst blog post ever in the entire history of the Internet and while at it, probably the worst piece of writing altogether in the history of mankind, the Universe and whatever preceded the latter.

You might be tempted to ask, provided you had the guts to comment this post and therefore risk being traced back and associated with this blog, why I would change my perfect habits and make a burger on a Monday. Well, I know I have used my readers to the Sunday burger challenge but I had good reasons to try and reach Burger Xanadu on a Monday. As a matter of fact, we are hosting friends next week-end and will probably go out for dinner next Sunday evening, hence denying ourselves from another attempt at the perfect burger. It, consequently, only seemed logical to anticipate our  Sunday routine as a precaution in case anything would happen to us until the following Sunday.

I must say I was quite happy with tonight's burger. It was tasty, juicy and spicy. I used Louisiana Gold Green sauce, two beef patties, lettuce, two slices of cheese with Buffalo Mozzarella in-between the slices (an idea of a Michelin Star Chef friend of mine). This made for a perfectly melted cheese and juicy burger. It was kind of like applying the recipe for a Juicy Lucy to the cheese itself.

So, what's up with the Hammer, Stargate and possibly worst blog post ever?

Well, here it comes: while I was tasting my burger, I had this stroke of genius (well, actually quite the opposite): If I had a Stargate, I would probably use it to go the most isolated planet in the galaxy (where, of course, the entire population of the planet speaks English, just like in the TV series) and I would introduce to this unspoiled civilization the holy Burger. I would persuade them to believe that hamburgers are representations of the essence of the universe, that they should be revered to and that  followers should strive to try and perfect their recipe. This amazing idea would make generations and generations work on my Sunday burger challenge. They would innovate in the field of Hamburgers (disregarding any other field such as physics, mathematics, biology, art etc... as Hamburgers unify all fields) and the result of all this would be the advent of a new Universe filled with wisdom and melted cheddar.

What about the Hammer? Well, isn't it obvious? The Hammer would be used to show the people from this faraway planet at the edge of the universe how to beat the sh*t out of a beef patty in order to make it flat and large. I would teach this people how to frantically scream, like a serial killer for his first kill, and flatten all patties ever destined to be used in a burger.

And when this whole process is over and in millions of years, Burger Xanadu is reached, I will prove Bergson wrong when he stated that the essential function of the universe was to be a machine for the making of Gods for in fact, the essential function of the universe is to be a machine for the making of Burgers.