Saturday, November 13, 2010

Breaking News: Project Titan Will Be Integrated In iOS 4.2

I've just hung up the phone from a conference call with Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg who are respectively my 104th and 105th best friends. It was the middle of the night for them and morning for me but hey, I wouldn't have agreed to that call if I had to stay up late or wake up early in the morning. Anyway, we talked a lot of nonsense and also the future of Apple, Facebook and the World.

As you should know, Mark is hosting a special event next Monday to announce his so-called Project Titan. There's been a lot of talk about this project, maybe, maybe too much talk. This project is not a rebel project, this project is Titan Bloody Titan (Bono, leave my body right now).

Some people have been speculating that Titan is set to be a Gmail killer. Well, as I know about it before anyone and didn't sign any non-disclosure agreement (and even if I had, I doubt that Steve and Mark would risk losing me as a friend by suing me), I'm going to reveal it right now.

Basically, Project Titan is more than a Gmail killer. It will not only integrate push email through Facebook's web interface but also contacts, calendar and notes synchronization. The key feature there is not its availability on desktop computers through its web interface but its release on Monday on all iDevices (including Apple TV 2). That is the reason why Steve and Mark were spotted having coffee together in Palo Alto not long ago. Besides talking about how much more fun it would have been had I been there with them, they also discussed Project Titan.

It is no coincidence that iOS 4.2 hasn't been released to the public yet, the reason behind this is that it will be released on Monday coincidentally with Mark's announcement. iOS 4.2 will let users configure a Facebook account in pretty much the same way they are able to configure Exchange, MobileMe or other email accounts right now. They will, then, get push email, contacts, calendar, notes and Farmville directly from Facebook on their iOS device, rendering Microsoft Exchange useless.

Through this partnership between Apple, Facebook and its announcement on my blog, the three of us will dominate the world and facilitate Facebook addiction worldwide. Facebook will be the portal and iOS will support the devices.

Based on this information and my love for insider trading, I am publicly planning on taking over Google. My initial offering is US$ 0.000001 per share. As there are 270 million shares on the market, this should cost me something like US$ 270, a fair price in the light of the aforementioned secrets. I'm, obviously, not doing this for profit. I just wouldn't want Google to disappear from the face of the Earth as they still offer great services and host my blog.

Note: Should my prophecies not come true on Monday, you should consider that they originated from a different timeline in a parallel universe and should, hence, be discarded when assessing the credibility of this blog.

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