Friday, October 22, 2010

How To Combat Declining Birth Rates With A Seduction Engine

Declining birth rates are jeopardizing the economy of developed countries while poor countries are struggling to limit their exponential growth. Many western governments tried to find a solution to this threatening issue but none came up with a viable solution. As usual, I intend to give the savvy reader of this blog a simple way to remedy that problem.
As a prerequisite to what follows, it is of the utmost importance to emphasize the fact that birth is the result (at least until now) of sexual activity. Therefore, it seems only logical that whatever increases the likelihood of sexual activity between two (or more) consensual adults can only result in an increase in birth rate. Many opponents to this theory will find millions of reasons (like contraception for instance) to object but for simplification and clarity reasons, I will just consider they're wrong and go on with my theory.

So here's my wonderful and super smart (as usual) idea: let's develop a Seduction Engine! What? You don't know what I'm talking about? This term sounds confusing to you? Of course, it is! I invented it and you can't be as smart as I am so I'll just have to explain it.

Everybody will agree that the rise of the Internet is in a large part due to the rise of Search Engines. Google is the new Microsoft because they were and still are the best at developing Search tools. Evidently, any two-word concept using at least "Search" or "Engine" can only be a big success.

So here's my proposition: let's think about BabelWith.Me . This great service allows people to simultaneously chat in different languages just thanks to the fact that it automatically translates each sentence from one language into the language of the other party. Isn’t that awesome? (Steve Jobs could have made that comment). The next step, in my opinion, would be not only to translate various languages from various countries but to translate the language of men into the language of women and vice-versa. This would obviously result in more people getting to appreciate one another and consequently to more sexual activity and therefore more birth.

As an illustration to this theory, here's how it could work:

Man: "Hello Babe, I wanna do you"
Translated into the language of Women: "Hello beautiful girl, your eyes are the most beautiful I have ever seen"
Woman: "How nice of you, you are such a good mannered man"
Translated into the language of Men: "No kidding! Wow, I wanna s*** you until you're lyophilized"


The reader can only deduct that this Seduction Engine indeed is the best invention ever! The wheel just seems like a gadget compared to it.

Once again, no need to thank me for solving one of humanity's impending disasters. Donations are out of the question.

Disclaimer: this post is in no way sponsored by babelwithme as it is obvious that any brand mentioned in this blog is likely to lose a great deal of credibility.


Anonymous said...

Es evidente que hay mucho que aprender acerca de esto. Creo que hizo algunas cosas buenas en características también. Sigue trabajando, gran trabajo!

Anonymous said...

This really solved my problem, thank you!.