Sunday, October 17, 2010

How To Effectively Convince Yourself And Your Readers That You Are Smart

Writing is not easy. Many people write but only a few get to be be known or appreciated by their peers for it. In this short post, I will give the lucky reader some advice on how to become a world famous writer.

Firt of all, you should keep in mind to use lots of different, unusual and long words (like phylogenetic or ontogenetic). By doing so, you will effectively convince your readers and yourself that you are amongst the smartest people on earth. Don't hesitate to use technical terms, preferably from a very specific, obscure and uninteresting field. Though the advent of search engines make it easier for people to look up the definition of words, if you put enough tedious terms in your writing, most people will give up trying to understand them and your thoughts as a whole. They will just assume that you are very smart. Keep in mind that they might not continue to read your literature but they will certainly tell all their friends that they did and loved it. Their friends will, in turn, read or at least try to read your prolific literary production and confirm the fact that they loved it. Through this chain reaction, you will evidently become world famous and so rich that you won't have enough time in your life to eat all the cheeseburgers that your freshly made fortune will afford you to buy.

One fun thing to do is to use the same sentences and just mix up the words. It will produce the same effects and your audience will not notice your clever trick. They will just assume, once again, that your super smart brain is so super smart (makes sense, right?) that you are able to write beautiful and intelligent prose on a constant basis. It is, as a matter of fact, rumored in Area 51 that many world famous psychoanalysts traveled forward in time just to read this blog entry before heading back to their own time. How else could their success and writings be explained?

I should probably stop giving you tips right here as I wouldn't want you to become more famous than me!

Don't hesitate to thank me when you finally make it big time. Please, keep in mind that all my tips are provided free of charge and that I will not tolerate people attempting to donate money to this blog.

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